Light at the End of the Tunnel

source

My advisor said those words to me the other day. Well, what he actually said was, 'Parece que la luz del tunel ya se ve,' which is basically the same thing.

I turned in a draft of my last major dissertation chapter on Monday. I have all of the books I need to make revisions in my other chapters. Spring break is right on the horizon, which means I get an extra 10 hours of work time next week. I am starting to feel like this whole dissertation thing is actually doable. Hooray!

***

To celebrate my progress I cleaned my office, did two loads of dishes, vacuumed, brushed poor sad Greta, washed our kitchen and bathroom rugs, and took a really long nap. The sun was shining, I opened the windows, and had a really wonderful day. There's an end in sight. OH MY GOSH! There's an end in sight!

Progress

Source: Pomodroido

They say that writing a PhD dissertation is like a long-term relationship. For me it's a relationship that's a bit more on the dysfunctional side of the spectrum. That is, it doesn't give a whole lot back while giving  you sleepless nights, headaches, and a lot of heartburn. So maybe it's more like having a child? (Except that I can ignore my dissertation for a weekend and not go to jail for dissertation neglect...so there's that.)

I'm so happy to be able to say that my dissertation and I have moved into a new phase of our relationship. I'm making progress. I have full drafts of three chapters and have already received feedback on two of them. I'm working on a fourth chapter. The final dissertation will consist of six chapters, though the first and last of them will be introduction and conclusion that should come together relatively quickly. My appendices (all ten of them, totaling more than 100 pages) are complete, just waiting for me to edit pagination and check that my sections are properly numbered.

My goal is to turn in my completed dissertation to my committee in 4 weeks. Sometimes I completely freak out, other times I can just push through the panic and get to work. One of the tools that I've recently discovered is the app pomodroido. From what I have gleaned from reading on time management, the pomodoro method encourages work to be completed in 30-minute time periods, or pomodoros. During each pomodoro, a person works for 25 minutes and then has the option for a five minute break. Following four pomodoros, a 15-minute break is suggested, but is also optional. The app times and tracks everything for me. I am such a sucker for getting points or stars or moving up a level, and pomodroido does that as well. What can I say? I'm just a five-year-old with a sticker chart at heart. I also love the time blocking, because I can convince myself to do pretty much anything for 25 minutes.

There's an end in sight. I applied for graduation yesterday - May 4th, 2012 cannot come soon enough. Well, really, it's the week of May 28th that I can't wait for. Dissertation defense, here I come!

Doldrums

February is just blah. I'm sorry to say it, but it's true. 

One of my favorite etymologies is that of 'doldrums'. 


It first appeared in the early 19th century, derived from 'dull' and analogous in form to 'tantrum'. The Oxford English Dictionary gives two early definitions:


a) A condition of dullness or drowsiness; dumps, low spirits, depression.
b) A dullard; a dull, drowsy, or sluggish fellow

What I really love, though, is that the word then became associated with a specific region of the ocean where the trade winds cancel each other out. The Rime of the Ancient Mariner describes this zone:

Day after day, day after day,

We stuck, nor breath nor motion;

As idle as a painted ship

Upon a painted ocean.

This is what February feels like to me. Stuck. Knowing that spring is on the horizon, knowing that the academic year will come to a close sooner than we are ready... motionless, waiting for something to happen.

Sources: 
Oxford English Dictionary online version December 2011. <http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/56557>; accessed 17 February 2012. 

"Doldrums." Wikipedia. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doldrums> accessed 17 February 2012.

January Update

January in the Midwest is typically a nasty-weathered affair. This year, however, we've been enjoying what I've deemed Winterspring. The weather has been spectacular. Today, for example, it's 50+ degrees out. I'll take it.

Looking back at the last few months of blog posts (or lack thereof), I can see a big slump in posting. Last semester was hard - for so many reasons. I was more sick, more frequently, than any other point in my life that I can remember. I felt run-down and unable to function from about mid-September to mid-January. In November (on my birthday, as a matter of fact), I was finally diagnosed with SHINGLES!!! (which I refer to a la Dooce with jazz hands). The doctor prescribed massive doses of prednisone and anti-virals (the same horse pill you get for the herp - good times) along with a command to slow down and listen to my body. So I did. And I was exhausted. There were a couple of days when I lost all but a few hours to naps and sleep. But of course, I got other manners of sick after the SHINGLES!!! cleared up. We had the flu and then I got bacterial bronchitis, and then we puppy-sat for 10 days (and Greta hated 9.5 of them), and then the semester started and, well, here we are.

In the resting times, I went bonkers on Pinterest, joined Goodreads, and read a bajillion books (embarrassing and not) on my wonderful, magical, basic Kindle. Mr. H-B and I also committed to the cult of Dave Ramsey. I now have a sad little card in my wallet with our total debt on it. The shopaholic in me needs that little reminder that every non-budgeted soda that I buy or extra thingamajig I buy for our apartment is keeping us from the goal of paying everything off.

So blog world friends, how was January?

Updated 101 in 1001

To say that I have slacked off on my goals would be quite an understatement. This last year was...ROUGH. I was sick, and then I was sick again, and then I got SHINGLES!!!, and then I got sick again, and then it was the end of the semester. Anyway, I've updated my list of 101 goals to complete in 1001 days.

The list is daunting. However, given that I have over 18 months to cross everything off, I think it's still doable. I am also surprised by how many goals I actually accomplished in the last year.

Here's to a productive 2012 and to crossing off MANY more items on my list of goals.

Goals in progress are bolded, goals completed are crossed out*

Spiritual/Service

1.       Read the full Standard Works

2.       Pray daily for two months (0/60)

3.       Write down a blessing each day for a month (0/30)

4.       Write in a journal one time a week for three months (0/3)

5.       Write a list of 25 things I genuinely like about myself

6.       Attend the temple 10 times (2/10)

7.       Magnify Visiting Teaching calling

1)      Make appointments during the first week of the month

2)      Visit or call each sister every month

3)      Send birthday cards to each sister

8.       Magnify organist calling

1)      Practice 60 minutes/week

2)      Plan each year’s music by January 30th (2011)

9.       Magnify Relief Society counselor calling

1)      Plan activities at least one month in advance

2)      Attend all meetings

10.   Read each month's Ensign magazine

Marriage/Relationships

11.   Pray as a couple 5 times a week for a month (0/20)

12.   Family Home Evening every Monday for 3 months (0/3)

13.   Go on a date with Mr. H-B every month  week (2/135)

14.   Have a baby

15.   Visit four city museums/zoo (Zoo in March)

16.   Print wedding photos

1)      Wedding album

2)      Our walls

3)      Mom and Dad H

4)      Mom and Dad B

17.   Send 4 care packages to baby sisters at school (4/4)

18.   Send Christmas cards to at least 20 people/families

19.   Send 20 handwritten letters to friends or family

20.   Purchase, complete, and frame a pretty family tree

Physical/Mental Fitness

21.   Weight loss goal (25%)

22.   Weight loss goal (50%)

23.   Weight loss goal (75%)

24.   Weight loss goal (100%)

25.   Splurge on 2 new bras

26.   Walk 10,000 steps every day for 60 days (0/60)

27.   Couch to 5k program (0/10 weeks)

28.   Walk Greta every day for 30 days (0/30)

29.   Practice yoga 3x/week for one month (0/4)

30.   Track all food for 30 days (0/30)

31.   Go without sugar (candy, baked goods, and sugared soda) for 30 days (0/30)

32.   Go without soda for 30 days (0/30)

33.   Wake up at the same time every day for 30 days (0/30)

34.   Floss daily for 30 days (0/30)

35.   See my therapist monthly when school is in session until I graduate (2/10)

36.   Monthly massages (0/32)

37.   Have a biannual medical check-up

38.   Have a dental check-up

39.   Get flu shot each fall (2011)

Financial

40.   Create a monthly budget and have a budget meeting with Mr. H-B each month (0/32)

41.   Do a spending fast

42.   Plan biweekly menus

1)      Make grocery list

2)      Shop at ALDI first

43.   Make a dent in my credit card debt

1)      Pay off VISA

2)      Apply extra payments to Discover

3)      Call AmEx and Discover about closing account to reduce interest rate

44.   Set up ING individual savings accounts

1)      Gifts

2)      Car repairs

3)      Moving expenses

4)      Baby

45.   Save all fun money for 3 months

46.   Save all of my Swagbucks Amazon.com gift cards from 1/1/2012-12/15/2012 

47.   Don’t pay for water bottles for 3 months (0/3)

Academic/Career

48.   Defend dissertation on or before January May 15, 2012

49.   Write CV and update semi-annually

50.   Write teaching statement by August 31, 2012

51.   Write draft letters of intent

1)      Research school

2)      Teaching school

52.   Ask for letters of recommendation

53.   Finish general job application packets

54.   Skim Academic Journal 1 every month

55.   Skim Academic Journal 2 every quarter

56.   Read the Diccionario del Real Academia Española

57.   Scan or download all academic articles in file cabinet

58.   Publish 2 articles/chapters

59.   Take 6 computer classes

1)      Illustrator

2)      Photoshop

3)      Website Development Certificate
4)      Podcasting

5)      Excel

6)      SPSS

60.   Buy a suit and have it tailored for job interviews

61.   Buy a nice briefcase and shoes for job interviews

Organization/Home

62.   Home inventory

63.   Make a will

64.   Make a living will

65.   Do Flylady program every day for 3 months (0/2)

66.   Clean out and organize closet

1)      Turn hangers backwards (2/1/2011-1/31/2012) and get rid of unworn clothes at the end of the year

67.   Organize and declutter kitchen tools

68.   Organize and declutter jewelry; clean tarnished pieces

69.   Declutter one item/day for 30 days (0/30)

70.   Organize iTunes (label all files properly)

71.   Organize photos

72.   Organize hard drives, delete unwanted files, back up all remaining files

73.   Organize birthday card file with a list of birthday presents/ gift card ideas for each recipient

74.   Organize recipes in a central location (including Cook’s Illustrated index)

75.   Add foam to couch and chair cushions

Creativity

76.   Complete baby blankets to have on hand for gifts

77.   Complete quilting projects that I have on hand (5 medium quilts)

78.   Complete cross-stitch advent calendar

79.   Sew a skirt

80.   Sew an apron

81.   Sew curtains

82.   Sew new throw pillows for the living room

83.   Take a class at JoAnn fabric

84.   Cook 1 vegetarian meal per month

85.   Learn to bake croissants

86.   Blog every day for 30 days (30/30)

87.   Blog one photo every day for 30 days (0/30)

88.   Photograph and blog a day in my life

89.   Learn to shoot pictures on manual

90.   Learn to play pedals on 5 hymns (0/5)

91.   Practice and play a piano solo in church

Recreation

92.   Host 3 parties

93.   Read 20 20^th and 21^st century fiction books I haven't read before:

1)      The Alchemist Paolo Coelho

2)      Anthem Ayn Rand

3)      Atonement Ian McEwan

4)      Beloved Toni Morrison

5)      Catcher in the Rye J.D. Salinger

6)      Cold Comfort Farm Stella Gibbons

7)      East of Eden John Steinbeck

8)      The Good Earth Pearl S. Buck

9)      The Haunting of Hill House Shirley Jackson

10)   The Help Kathryn Stockett

11)   The House of Mirth Edith Wharton

12)   The Hunger Games (Trilogy) Suzanne Collins

13)   The Lord of the Flies William Golding

14)   The Lord of the Rings (Trilogy) J.R.R. Tolkien

15)   My Ántonia Willa Cather

16)   The Name of the Rose Umberto Eco

17)   The Shining Stephen King

18)   The Stranger Albert Camus

19)   Things Fall Apart Chinua Achebe

20)   Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy John leCarré

94.   Read 10 non-fiction books I haven't read before: 

1)      Angela’s Ashes Frank McCourt

2)      The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

3)      Band of Brothers Stephen Ambrose

4)      The Conquest of Gaul Caesar

5)      Declaration of Independence, Constitution of the United States of America, Bill of Rights and Constitutional Ammendments Benjamin Franklin

6)      Endurance Alfred Lansing

7)      Enoch the Prophet Hugh Nibley

8)      La guerra de guerrillas Che Guevara

9)      The Histories Herodotus

10)   Innocents Abroad Mark Twain

11)   Jesus the Christ James E. Talmage

12)   The Long Walk Slavomir Rawicz

13)   Old Testament and Related Studies Hugh Nibley

14)   Undaunted Courage Stephen Ambrose

15)   Vivir para contarla Gabriel García Márquez

95.   Read 20 classic works of fiction that I haven’t read before

1)      Aeneid Virgil

2)      Anna Karenina Leo Tolstoy

3)      The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

4)      Beowulf

5)      Bleak House Charles Dickens

6)      Dracula Bram Stoker

7)      Far from the Madding Crowd Thomas Hardy

8)      Frankenstein Mary Shelley

9)      Gulliver’s Travels Jonathan Swift

10)   Iliad Homer

11)   Jane Eyre Charlotte Bronte

12)   Last of the Mohicans James Fenimore Cooper

13)   Madame Bovary Gustave Flaubert

14)   Odyssey Homer

15)   The Picture of Dorian Gray Oscar Wilde

16)   The Portrait of a Lady Henry James

17)   The Scarlet Letter Nathaniel Hawthorne

18)   Treasure Island Robert Louis Stevenson

19)   Vanity Fair William Makepeace Thackeray

20)   Wuthering Heights Emily Bronte

96.   Watch AFI top 100 movies

97.   Find 5 new parks where I can walk with Greta

98.   Do a manicure and pedicure once a month (12/32)

99.   Learn how to juggle

100.   Renew my passport

101.   Write a new 101 goals in 1001 days list

33 on the 3rd

Today's a big birthday for me. My mom is going to call me later and tell me about how I took 26 hours before I came out with a conehead. And then she and my dad will laugh about how they tried to send me back to the nursery a few hours later because I was so much cuter than the baby they saw right after the birth. And then I'll be super homesick for awhile because Indiana is so far away from New Mexico.

Since I wasn't old enough to remember my golden birthday - being born on the 3rd isn't conducive to that - I've decided to go all out on my 33rd. It's crazy that I'm an age at which I remember both of my parents. It's hard to remember that I'm an adult when I'm still in school and childless (although I think I'm turning into one of those crazy dog ladies...).

To celebrate here, I've decided to list 33 things that make me smile. No, these aren't all the big, important things, and the list will probably be completely different in a year. But today, November 3, 2011, these are the things that bring a smile to my face:

1. Mr. H-B. 3 years in and we drive each other bonkers, but he can still bring a smile to my face with a quote from Arrested Development or The Simpsons. 
2. My family. I miss them a lot, but I love how much we like and love each other. We like being together, and I think that says a lot for the job my parents did in raising five children. 
3. My church. It's not a perfect organization, but I'm really happy that I'm a Mormon. 
4. Ms. Greta von Hassenstein-Barker.There, I said it. I love my dog. Even when she steals chicken bones out of the garbage or pees on the carpet, she's my fur baby. Most of the time, she just makes me laugh by furiously chasing paperclips across the living room, smacking the carpet with her Seussical/Muppet paws.
5. And now for some less serious stuff....
6. Fall. As I've mentioned before, autumn in Indiana is spectacular.
7. Cardinals. I always thought cardinals were sort of mythical creatures (they just don't live out West). They're real. Also, they eat love dumpsters.
8. Geese. They're just so funny.
9. My lunch bag. I have packed lunch all but one day for the last 9 weeks. Go me!
10. My water bottle. Finally something pretty enough to keep me from buying plastic water bottles. 
11. Home Means Nevada - This cover by The Killers is awesome. I sing this song in my head a lot. Am I the only one who knows my state song by heart? "Way out in the land of the setting sun...."
12. Green apples and creamy peanut butter. I have eaten this combination in my lunch almost every day this semester. Om nom nom.
13. Diet Dr. Pepper or Coke Zero. I had grand intentions of giving up soda this semester, but it is...not going to happen. The end. 
14. Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins. One of the things I look most forward to about Halloween, really. 
15. My wallet. It's apple green and it makes me happy when I look at it. Also, it has a checkbook in it. And that makes me feel like a legitimate adult, even though I write exactly one check a month. 
16. Key ring full of keys. Also makes me feel like a grown-up.
17. Arrested Development. Really, is there anything else to say about this? 
18. TV on the internet. I can watch what I want while Mr. H-B watches endless Seinfeld re-runs. Win. Win. 
19. Nail polish. I have fallen in love with weird colors like green and blue, but I also love glitters and pink and red. It's a fun, (relatively) inexpensive way to play with color.
20. My new glasses. I got them from Zenni and they're comfy, the correct prescription, and somewhat fashionable. Also, I got three pairs (including a pair of old lady sunglasses (thank you, Mr. H-B)) for less than 75 dollars. Thank you Stuckis for talking up internet glasses.  
21. Teaching. I love my job. Sometimes I hate my dissertation, but I don't remember the last time I complained about the teaching part. It is so much fun to watch my students' eyes light up as they understand new things about Spanish. Liberal Arts FTW!
22. Silver and white/clear decorations. I had a planning meeting for our winter Relief Society activity and this is our color scheme (with some navy blue tablecloths). It always looks classy and clean. I'm really excited to bust out my Christmas ornaments this year. 
23. Annie's sugar cookie bars. You guys, I confess that I love those Lofthouse bakery cookies. It's disgusting. These bars, on the other hand, are homemade and even more delicious than Lofthouse. Seriously. Just try them. 
24. Thinking about graduation. Funny hats, getting hooded by my adviser, can it get any better?
25. Smart phones. I no longer have a calendar online, an agenda, and assorted calendars in my office, kitchen, etc. Let's just forget that the battery on my phone is seriously heinous.
26. And now for some weird stuff...
27. The smell of ink. Sometimes after I hand write a lot, I sniff the page. 
28. Scentsy. I got suckered into a Scentsy party, then suckered into buying something.... (What!? I can't say 'No' to anything). But it turns out that I love my little wax warming contraption. It smells good, Mr. H-B can't blow it out, and it makes a great little night light. 
29. Writing on the chalkboard. You guys, this is one of the reasons I love being a teacher. It is so much fun to write on the board.
30. Fonts and typography. I have a whole board on Pinterest devoted to the fun things I find online. I also love creating posters and handouts (even though I'm not particularly good at it). 
31. World of Warcraft. This is my biggest secret shame of the year. Mr. H-B convinced me to try a free trial, playing with him and one of our friends. I'm a junky now. I totally get those Level 85 Palladin and 'My guild has a raid' jokes. Not that I've ever said either of them. 
32. Sorting things. I sort my M&Ms, nail polishes, pens, data files, apps, everything. Sorting makes me happy. 
33. Being 33. It's going to be a good year. I can tell already.

So Happy Birthday to me! Thank you, dear imaginary readers, for sticking with me. 

Judge Not

I'd like to talk about judgment today. As members of a church with a well-established doctrine, Mormons can sometimes be very certain that their interpretation of  a given element of the religion is the correct one. In other words, we can all be a bunch of Judgy McJudgersons. It's hard enough to be a good person, but when voices from all over are telling that you're doing it wrong, it gets to be downright miserable. I've noticed that that the tendency to judge (one another and ourselves) has come to a head on several blogs authored by LDS women. 

Anonymous commenters throw around quotes that are often incomplete (or incorrectly cited, in some cases) to establish that they are in fact in the right regarding a given issues. The truth of the matter is, it doesn't matter if the whole quote is presented or not, I'm bothered by this assumption that because *I* understood something a certain way, *EVERYONE* should understand it that way. The point I’m trying to make here is that we each personally interpret the doctrines of the church as they are presented to us. I think each of us is probably imperfect in our interpretation, but I hope that we all do it with the guidance of the spirit.

In March of 1998, Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave a wonderful devotional at BYU regarding judgment. He differentiated final judgments, which we believe will be left entirely to Christ, and intermediate judgments. He then explained that “to be righteous, an intermediate judgment must be within our stewardship. We should not presume to exercise and act upon judgments that are outside our personal responsibilities.” 

In the end, I think that a lot of us in the church (and probably outside of it) spend an inordinate amount of time judging each other for highly personal decisions. I have been very guilty of this myself, but it’s something I really desire to change. Having been judged harshly for my decisions (and some circumstances that are beyond my control), I recognize that it’s better for me to say, “You know what, I don’t agree with the way you’re doing that, but I probably don’t have all of the information that you do.”

How do you feel about judgment and judging others? Are you as guilty as I am? How do you change this? 

Rainy days

I know I was all, "Hooray fall!!!!!11!" last time, but I must confess that I loathe one thing about it. In Indiana, fall means the onset of what can only be called the rainy season (often bringing wicked scary tornadoes and the accompanying freaky-as-all-get-out siren). It has been raining here since Tuesday evening. It's grey, it's cloudy, and I become instantly lazy.

I'm looking forward to oodles of sun this weekend when we explore a local cemetery to get in the spirit of Halloween.

Fall! It's Finally Here!

The summer in Indiana seemed to drag on forever. It was hot. It was simultaneously dry (well, dry for the Midwest) and sweltering. I wore my hair in styles that would make my mom's toes curls (she likes me better with bangs). I lived in jersey-knit skirts, t-shirts, and flip-flops. In fact, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to wear flip-flops for a very long time because my toes still feel weird.

But fall is here now. Indiana in the fall is breathtaking. The trees change to blazing shades of red and orange. Corn and soybean fields dry into golden stalks. Brilliant red cardinals flit about (and they're so much prettier than I ever imagined them to be). The geese return and people spill out onto patios, lawns, and sidewalks to enjoy the beautiful weather.

Five or six years ago my dad came to so that we could attend a Bob Dylan concert. We went to a festival and took this picture outside of one of Indiana's covered bridges. The way the sun hits the water still blows my mind (despite the poor quality of the picture).