9.10.2008

The Name Change

Many of you know me as the former Miss Hass. When Mr. Bark and I decided to get married, I spent most of our engagement debating the name I would use once we were married. Would I remain Ms. Hass both professionally and personally? Could I be Ms. Hass professionally and Mrs. Bark everywhere else? Mrs. Hass-Bark? Mrs. Bark? And what about the middle name that my parents so lovingly bestowed on me?

I tried signing every possible combination of my potential names over and over again and came to several conclusions.
  1. I am far too lazy to write four names. So Mrs. Firstname Middlename Maidenname-Lastname was definitely not an option.
  2. I didn't want to saddle my kids with a hyphenated name. It's fine for single syllable names, but the combination of our two real last names is a bit of a mouthful. If you know them, try saying them several times fast.
  3. I'm much more attached to my last name than my middle name.
  4. I wanted to be Mrs. Bark at least some of the time.
After months of thinking, I decided to go with Firstname Maidenname Marriedname as my legal name. That way, I keep my already established professional identity by publishing under my new full name. I get to keep some of my former identity as a Hass while still getting to take my husband's name.

But here's the thing: do you have any idea how difficult it is to legally change your name? Especially given that I am a fairly established adult with multiple credit cards, bank accounts, utility accounts, health insurance, car insurance, renters insurance, paychecks, etc... It took three trips to Social Security to get the first step done (I didn't have a certified marriage certificate the first time, the line was too long the second time). I can't even stomach the thought of going to the DMV and waiting in line. Mr. HB needs a new driver's license too, though, so we'll be making the trip sooner rather than later.

At any rate, the change is underway. Let's hope it doesn't put anyone over the edge of sanity with its difficulty...

9 comments:

Kim Butt said...

I hated that! I knew that I wanted the same "variation" of name as you, but apparently you don't asked that question when the sweet temple workers send in the paperwork. So my name on church records is not the same as my name on government records. Oh well, I just deal with it now. :) I don't think men realize what a huge adjustment that is for so many women. (It's almost like your identity is being changed.)

ferskner said...

Goodbye middle name!!!!!!! I enjoyed you while I knew you.

I will do four names legally. I know it's a lot, but I'm not willing to give one up. Maybe I should, though, with my maiden name.....

Camie said...

It sounds like you made a great choice! It's definitely wierd to get used to getting called by a new name. And if it makes you feel any better, I just recently got a new set of scriptures with my married name!! I couldn't part with those ones with my maiden name on them until 6+ years into marriage!!

Payne-Holmes said...

Cry me a river. Been there, done that.

FoxyJ said...

Changing your name is a big pain. Not only that, but we've had mondo problems with the IRS for the last six years since someone at the social security office decided to change my birthdate along with my name. And then when we tried to fix it it caused more problems. Argh! I kept my middle name and dropped my last name. Hyphenation didn't work because my hubby's last name is really long, and my maiden name just felt weird as a middle name. Thankfully I hadn't published anything before our marriage. And now I get all kinds of strange reactions since I'm not at BYU and everyone here is slightly amused that I actually changed my name when I got married. That's totally not cool in the academic world of today :)

llegue said...

my parents never gave me a middle name so i made my maiden name
my middle name. I couldn't let go that I was always known as Jenn Rig...you know..kind of short, kind of peppy and sassy..like me!

Charlotte said...

Ditto - a MAJOR pain to do all the changing.

I made the same choice as you. I liked my middle name - which was very similar to yours - but also decided on using my maiden name as my legal middle name. It was more important to my identity than my middle name.

But, even if the paperwork says otherwise, I still think of my name as including my former middle name.

Katie said...

That's exactly what I did. Mrs. First Maiden NewLast.

Best way to go.

La Dolcezza said...

As I have been filling out all this paperwork for my new job, getting insurance, etc. etc. I can't help but think of what a pain it will be if I ever get married. Some of the paperwork is easier single, but it is going to be a PAIN to change.

Oh, and ferskner only has four syllables with all three names combined! Of course she will keep them! (but yeah, if you ahve to choose one, drop your current last name. Or sing it over and over again in a song...)